I love being religious and so the religious people. But when it comes about those who keep relating everything in this world to God, or their religion, it's sickening.

Jakarta is sinking because we're getting farther from God? Come on! it's 2010! no wonder Indonesia is lagging behind!

Even you doubt that it's fine for non-Islam people to talk in Arabian! Arab is not all about Islam! The civilization developed there and so with other religions!

"Siapa yang berhak menilai kebaikan kita? Mengapa kita melebihi Tuhan dalam menghakimi sesama?"

-Alex Tata, Kompas

Wakatobi, Southeast of Celebes

another place I definitely want to go after Raja Ampat! Well, it has a more beautiful undersea (it is said to have 85% of world's coral species), but Raja Ampat has a better view and panaronama, tho.







They even have the fluorescent diving! with a certain kind of light all the corals, fish, and other specieses down there become a theater of light! how will you reject its offer to enjoy the beauty of pre-historic age?

grateful I was not accepted at ITB

thanks God for not letting me go to San Francisco
thanks God for showing me the way to Bandung
thanks God for not putting me into ITB
thanks God for putting me into Itenas
thanks God for the great lecturers
thanks God for the amazing lectures since the first day at Itenas

I don't know what's Your plan
I don't know how You're working on me
I don't know how You see my future

but I'm grateful for everything I have until today
I'm grateful for all the journey I've gone through

I believe You have a great plan on me.


I DO REALLY LOVE ITENAS!! I'VE MET THE GREATEST TEACHERS OF ALL!!

"Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off"
-Proverbs 23:18

Praying doesn't make you a saint any more than standing in an airport makes you an airplane
-Paulo Coelho

it is the 4th day and i think i had made a pretty good progress.

this afternoon after class we hanged out at workshop. most of the boys and 2 girls. just played around and had fun. (in fact, most of us couldn't go home as it was raining heavily and we were trapped at the workshop with a horribly hungry stomach.)

we moved to a cheap small restaurant when the rain stopped. there were 12 of us. i tried to jumped in so that i could know them better and making friends with the other people i hadn't know.

well, it didn't go pretty good. it's hard for me to join the conversation. and worse, they used sundanese frequently that i didn't understand them. but it went better as our conversation went farther, tho. i could join the conversation and we laughed together. pretty fun. it was like 1-1,5 hour until we moved to the workshop again to meet some of our seniors.


overall, everything went pretty good. i got pretty many friends at once. such a progress for me! yet, there's something i gotta pay to make friends, i think: my health. i just can't imagine hanging out with them all the time. there are 36 students in my class and 8 of them are women meaning 28 the rest are men. and, it is like around 20 of the men smoke. they smoke whenever they got time, during the break, or when we're hanging out afterclass. and for this first time, i couldn't stop coughing, i kept holding my breath and blowing the smokes. and when i got home, even until now, my throat feels terrible! i just can't imagine i will be with them for 4 years. how my lungs will be?

“Pernah kau berpikir kawan? kalau terkadang kekayaan adalah kutukan.
itu yang sering aku pikirkan tentang bumi ini.. tentang bangsa ini.. dan tentang kampung halamanku ini. semua milik kami tidak pernah betul-betul kami nikmati.
Kami disini hanya menjadi penonton. atau hanya menjadi kuli. bahkan kesalahan orang yang mengeruk tanah kamipun harus kami yang menanggungnya.” - Sang Pemimpi, 2010

i think strong people are not those who are physically strong, not those who can lift up to the heaviest weigh, not those who can fight with many people alone, not those who can beat another person in just one punch, and so on. instead, i think the strongest person is the one who can live alone. what i mean alone is, alone-no one wants him and he has no one to lean on.

i think the strong people are those who are bullied, unwanted, deserted, and abandoned, but still alive. those who can carry all the sorrow, sadness, loneliness, hatred, happiness, love, all by himself without having no one to share with, but still loving and caring.


and, therefore, i'm obviously weak. i'm a weakling. i can't stand being solitary. i can't stand having no one beside me. i can't stand having no one to talk to and to share all my feelings.


hence, i really appreciate those who are strong. eventhough no one recognizes them.

can i survive?

it's been the 5th day i moved to bandung.

all new environment. new society. new people. new rules. new culture. new blahblahblah...

i'm a bit stressed out right here. i know it's still in Indonesia and it's nothing like a remote city out of Java or even some other countries. the fact is that it is just a few hundred kilometer away from Jakarta and one of the largest city in Indonesia.

yet, still, i find it really different from my last environment, where it is like 99% of my friends are pretty the same with me. they have the same religion, the same way of making friends, hanging out, flirting, cultures, and so on. my campus is still in Indonesia and it feels like somewhere in another country. i feel like i'm an alien.

it has been hard for me in adapting myself into new societies. but this one's much harder than i thought. like, boys smoke, like 95 percent of them and i don't. those who smoke have chance to get to know each other better, but since i can't stand being among horrible smokes, i don't join in therefore it's hard for me to know them.


it's been the third day at campus and i just knew 6 people. can i survive in this 4 year college?

i am serious about saving up money up to 50million rupiah. Well, I know I won't have it in just 1 or 2 years. even if i can save like 200K per month, it will be just 2,4million per year meaning it needs 20 years to reach 50million.

but, of course, i will have my own income sooner or later. well, it will be in 5 years at the latest until i have my own income and career. and, more, i hope by taking industrial design i can make something before i graduate and earn lots of money from there.

my mom told me not to save money by reducing my meal portion. but, i think i will, tho! sorry mom :P

I wonder why Christian and Islam are stereotyped to be always fighting despite the fact that they both are highly related and bonded?

Again and again. Majority and minority.

Why does it have to be majority to take the power?
Why can they freely decide even if they're wrong?
Why can't they let minority have their right?
Why do they always abate minority's right and power?

Do we minority have the right to speak up?

We are voiceless.
We, minority, are powerless.
Rights seem to be just a formality.
An alibi to shadow the harassment against minority.

The third largest democracy huh?
I don't see Indonesia deserves the title.

Democracy is yet to learn.

why won't you answer me?
your silence is slowly killing me.
girl your really got me bad.

i am in misery.

Saya akan terus berupaya membangun negeri ini menjadi lebih baik sampai negeri ini dikuasai Syariat Islam atau syariat-syariat lainnya, karena di saat itulah sudah tidak ada penghargaan terhadap golongan lainnya.

Di luar cita-cita seluruh rakyat Indonesia termasuk saya, yaitu berupa kesejahteraan ekonomi bagi seluruh rakyat, hanya ada satu cita-cita utama yang saya dambakan terhadap Indonesia: terhapusnya sekat-sekat pemisah antara suku, ras, dan agama. Negara ini bisa terbentuk karena adanya rasa persaudaraan antara tiap golongan masyarakat di seluruh Indonesia yang jumlahnya bukan hanya belasan atau puluhan, melainkan ratusan. Tanpa ada rasa persaudaraan itu negara ini tidak akan bisa terbentuk.

Namun sepertinya keadaan semakin memburuk. Saya heran, kenapa generasi muda sekarang bukannya menjadi semakin terbuka malah menjadi semakin konservatif. Mudah sekali diprovokasi dengan nama agama. Bisa-bisanya mengancam keamanan dan bahkan membunuh orang lain hanya karena mereka itu dibilang "kafir" oleh pemimpin agama mereka.

Etnis Tionghoa pun dianggap alien perusak bangsa - etnis minoritas dan pendatang yang harus diusir dari bumi Indonesia. Akan tetapi tidak hanya mereka para rasis pembenci etnis Tionghoa saja yang salah. Saya sebagai salah seorang dari etnis Tionghoa pun salah dan tidak kalah munafik karena selalu melabel orang-orang yang katanya penduduk asli Indonesia (padahal mereka pun pendatang) itu kotor dan bau.

Sejak kecil saya (mungkin teman-teman saya juga sama) sudah diajarkan bahwa kita berbeda. Kita Tionghoa dan mereka pribumi. Kita pintar mereka tidak pintar. Kita pintar berdagang mereka pemalas. Mungkin mereka pun sudah diajarkan bahwa mereka sopan kita tidak punya sopan santun. Mereka rendah hati kita sombong. Mereka tidak pelit kita pelit. Itulah yang tertanam di otak kita. Atau agama kitalah yang benar sementara mereka salah. Agama kitalah yang akan membawa kita ke surga sementara mereka tidak.

Akan tetapi, tinggal menjadi alien di Bandung di antara mereka pun memberikan saya pelajaran berharga. Kita sama. Betapa kita sama-sama membenci teroris yang memakai topeng Islam, sama-sama membenci FPI yang merusak mengatasnamakan Allah. Betapa kita sama-sama tidak suka dijelek-jelekan dan diperlakukan berbeda.

Sampai kapan kita akan melihat diri kita berbeda? Sampai kapan kita terus memperlebar jurang di antara kita? Berkata ini pun saya munafik karena saya, secara sadar ataupun tidak, juga rasis. Namun saya tidak mau melihat Indonesia terpecah belah hanya karena golongan tertentu yang memprovokasi untuk saling membenci. Oleh karenanya saya pun akan memperbaiki sikap saya dan meluruskan pandangan saya dari bias subjektivitas.

Apakah kita punya hak menghakimi benar salah atau sesat tidak suatu kepercayaan? Bukankah itu hak Dia di atas sana karena Dialah yang memilih suka tidaknya dengan cara kita memuji dan memuliakan namaNya? Siapa sangka ketika di akhir zaman nanti umat yang kita injak-injaklah yang akan masuk ke Surga, Nirvana, Moksha atau apapun itu?

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

- Marcus Aurelius

I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it.

- Audrey Hepburn

It’s always more intriguing to imagine what’s happening, as opposed to seeing everything because then you can use your imagination. I always wanted to be at a distance.

- Sofia Coppola

Just watched the videos of the hijacked bus in Manila. 8 hostages died in that catastrophe.

There was a video showing the bus driver tried to escape from the bus and he did it. Glad that he successfully escaped. He did it for his life, for his safety. He must felt a great great relieve.

And.. the next video told me about the hijacker, who was a fired captain in the army, sprayed a gunfire. He killed some hostages.


What would I do if I was in that bus, and there was an option: I ran, and I was safe but others would be killed because my escape or I stayed, killed, and the others would be safe?

Never know the answer though. Answering it won't be as easy as doing it.


Anyway.. I am very sorry for the killed hostages. RIP.

I have no problem with it. But it becomes a problem for me if others have a problem with it.