indonesia is bad? don't think so.

My friend asked a new english teacher for our class - Mr. Jim Wigginton: "What is the worst thing you know about Indonesia?" Jim answered: "Its traffic jam and mosquitoes."

It made me think. Why did my friend ask him about the bad things; why did he not ask about the good things instead?

Was it because we think Indonesia is bad? Indonesia does not have a good image in other countries' eye?

Well, yes. We have many bad things about Indonesia: one of the most corrupting country, bombed for many times, airplane crashes, sinking ferries, burned forest, illegal logging, and other bad things.

But, I don't thing foreigners see that (except for Malaysians :P) 'cause, actually: they LOVE Indonesia. Lots of them. I know that. So, I asked Mr. Jim: "So, what are the good things of Indonesia that you know?" He replied: "Nice people. I love Indonesians. They are nice. I love their smiles and warmth." He also said that he loves Indonesian foods, cultures, and beauties.

See? Compared to the bad things he said before, we have much more quality in our good-s instead of bad-s. Traffic jam and mosquitoes are nothing compared to our warmth, cultures, and beauties, aren't they? So, why don't we just see our good-s instead of our bad-s?

In fact, we have so many beauties that we don't know yet. Even foreigners know more than us, Indonesians. Isn't that embarrasing? We have Bali, Lombok, Raja Ampat, Batam, Mentawai, and sooo many more.

So, let's know about Indonesia better. Don't think that we're bad 'cause we're actually soo damn BEAUTIFUL!!! :)

batam, east of sumatra

raja ampat, papua

lombok

mentawai, west sumatra

beautiful, aren't they? :D

I've been listening to my korean songs playlist again these last few days - for the same playlist which means the same songs. Everyday for two years - never get bored and sick of it.

And while I was listening to my korean songs, I saw my friends were listening to their RnB or rock or pop songs by those famous american singers on my messanger.


It made me thinking: why do I love these korean songs more instead of worldwidely-famous american songs?

I remember being in US for a month - without any asian or even korean songs on radio, stores, malls, or my uncle's home. I listened to american songs - just like me 3 years ago before I started to like koreans. Yes, I liked the songs. They were good and somehow seemed mature. But, still, I missed korean songs.

Why is it? I mused for a while to think about it.

Korean songs and those of americans are so different. They have different color and I like that color. I am bored already with americans. They are good yet are easy to make me bored. But, not with koreans. They have more cheerful beats that make me enjoying the songs. They are creative to make new beats and rhythm. Their dances are silly but it make me laugh. That's why I never get bored even I've been listening to the songs for more than 200 times. XD

cook.

One of the things I learned from US: they can express their love to everyone very well. And one way that I like is by inviting people they love to dinner which they cook by themselves. It is really sweet.

I really wanna do this. I want to cook for people I love - my friends and especially my parents.



So.... I am planning to cook for my friends when my parents are leaving for Europe in August. It is also for practicing my cooking skill so that I can cook for my parents when they are home. :P

dreams.

I was just talking about my dreams - again - with my friends a few days ago. Talking about it made me realize how many dreams I have. Yet, how much effort I need to reach those dream which can be categorized as very hard.

My first dream is: helping people. Well, it's not that hard. But, my helping-people definition is founding a non-profit NGO (Non-Governmental-Organization) and build schools, houses for poors, help a community, and help them in reaching a better quality of life. It will need a hard work, tho. It's not as easy as giving some food to a homeless guy. I need a good connection to many people including governments.

Second, I wanna discover the world. The Earth. It means I admire going around the world - Europe, especially France, Switzerland, England, and Japan, South Korea, Raja Ampat, Africa, and lot more places on Earth. Not just that, I want to go to beautiful remote places where I can be alone - or just with my friends or spouse.

Third. I can do it only when I really am rich - a millionaire. I wanna make a new city. Or at least a housing complex. I want to make a suistainable, natural, modern, beautiful, neat, discipline area. I will make a different rule than any other cities in Indonesia.




Those are my dream. My life's destinaton. My personal legend. I need to work really hard for that. And I'm optimistic that I will be able to reach that dream (tho I'm not sure with the third one :P).

terrors

It was really shocking, when I got my cellphone back after living 3 days without my phone and disconnected from the outside world and found a message from my mom: J.W Marriot and Ritz Carlton were bombed. Again? After had been bombed for several times - twice in Bali and twice in Jakarta. Worse, J.W. Marriot again?! I was so...... frightened? sad? angry? feeling sorry for the victims? I felt all of it. All are mixed up. 9 people died and tens injured.

What do you want TERRORISTS?!!!

Terrorist, huh?! They make terror. They kill people - mercilessly. They said it all are in the name of GOD. For fuck's sake! GOD will NOT kill!! Wait. Yes HE does. But, no one but HIM has the right to take someone's life! Not you fucking terrorist. Nor any other humans on earth. You said if you suicide by bombing you will go into heaven? Yea. Heaven of those who are killers, heartless, so-no-human fucking people a.k.a HELL!






However, let's just see the positive side of this bombing.

First. Another lesson for us, Indonesians. Don't look down on dangers that you think you have solved and it is gone forever. Each time a bomb explodes, security is tightened. Everywhere. But, a few weeks later, when we think it is gone already, we become careless. There's no awareness in us. In result, we can see it now. Bombs again. So, let's change this mind and be aware of any danger threats us.

Second. Our nationalism increases. Yes. Nationalism always wakes up at times like this - when something bad happens to our nation: bombs, other countries look down on us, our heritage are stolen, and many more. And at this time, I can feel nationalism from so many Indonesians that I didn't feel it before. We all stand up for our country - fighting terrorists. I found this website: www.indonesiaunite.com. A website for Indonesians. Those loving Indonesians. We all fight terrorists there - cursingthem, and struggling for a better Indonesia's image on other's countries.



Well, at least there are something that we can learn to be a better nation and country. :)

By the way, I feel sorry for the victims. May GOD bless you all. :)

today and tomorrow

today.... I was home from Bandung for a "farewell party" for itik, felia, dani, and H. It was a great 2 days there. We stayed in cath's home - playing, screaming, laughing, taking pictures, and chris and I were also almost got drunk as we drank more than 6 cans of beer. huahua. It was soooo fun there... yet it was sad that we can not meet again for at least a year. >.<

After all, I was finally able to solve my problem which had haunted me for like 2-3 months. SOOO HAPPYYYY!! hohohhoh!

all of us at rest area

some beers with chris

in the middle of the nite

and tomorrowww.... will be the last day for me to meet itik and felia. and then I will get my report card.. go home.. packing.. and..... GO TO SAN FRANCISCO!!! damn!! I just still don't believe the miracle that I can go to SF again for the third time! THANK GOD! hohohoho!

shit

I NEED LITHIUM TO CALM MYSELF DOWN!!!

i feel so bad since last week. something had made me so sad and mad - can't stop thinking bout it. i can't control my emotion. i could be happy and be bad at once.

i frequently sit down silently on my desk - musing, drawing eyes and faces, writing words to express my feeling cos i didn't even know what i was feeling actually. i tried any way to express it and be relieved of it.

but i can't. FREAKIN ME OUT!!

damn.

i often lose my breath. something kinda pushes all of my breath out of my chest at once. making me feel a kind of panic - or excited. i don't know which one. but it's bad. so, it's panic i think.

one thing for sure what i am feeling:

i don't wanna lose anything i love anymore - just because of bullshits. now i'm struggling for it, while knowing that it might be not possible.

well, it's panic then.

and i can't be calmed until i know that i still have hope.

a song reflecting what i am feeling now.

by jason mraz (featuring james morrison): details in the fabric


Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads saying
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
Mmmhmm

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

how could these things happen?!

Inspired by The Jakarta Post Weekender, I made my list of the things I don't understand which I see and happen in my life:

1. Why Prabowo, a man behind the Mei 98 riot, can be a candidate of the next General Election and has a lot of supporters.
2. How an obviously childish man could be a leader of a large party, even a candidate of the next General Election?
3. Why Indonesians love fooling themselves by watching stupid, silly, non-sense, bullshit and fooling-the-nation TV programs.
4. Why government still permitting the TV programs' producers to make such a silly and non-sense and useless programs while it keeps fooling the nation.
   
5. Why Jakarta people want to be free of the traffic jam while they can't even obey the rules and be discipline on the road.
6. Why people keep grumbling and complaining why is earth becomes hotter and hotter each day while they don't even care about the nature.
7. Why most of the teenagers just want to have fun and play all day and never care about their college in the future.
8. Why Indonesia keeps separating the class into Social and Science while they can't be separated in life.
9. How people so ignorant about gossips they're gossiping, though it can hurt the people they're gossiping very much.
10. Why adults are so sure that violence is the best way to raise discipline teenagers.

Manu Chao

I found a CD given by my bro, Sean. He gave it to me 2 years ago when he came home from SF. It is a CD by Manu Chao. I really love the song, it's reggae, but unlike ordinary reggae - idk what makes it unsual. hehehehe. however, what I like from Manu Chao is that he sings in many languages: english, spanish, french, portuguese, marocoan. damN! I wonder how could he talks in so many languages XD

Here is one of the songs that I like the lyric and its melody:
:

Trapped By Love
Manu Chao

When you come I'm feeling better
Sky is blue you said forever
ooh ooh, I've been trapped by love
Then you go so change the weather
Sky is grey bit more than ever

ooh ooh
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love...

So my beer now taste so bitter
But i can't find anything sweeter
ooh ooh, I've been trapped by love
Then you come and I feel better
See my eyes they're full of water
then again you go so change the weather

Asking for the next together
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love...

When you come I'm feeling better
Sky is blue you said forever
ooh ooh, I've been trapped by love
Then you come and I feel better
See my eyes they're full of water
Then again you go so change the weather

Asking for the next together
Asking for the next together

I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love
I've been trapped by love

why are Leo-s so TIRING?

Finally, after debating and fighting and hold my emotion back so that i wouldn't be exploded with my mom, she let me making up my own schedule to SF. huaahh.. it was so tiring; fighting with my mom in TWO days. In TWO days she argued with me, lectured me, and even JUDGED me for bad things.

I was so damn tired. I got to control my emotion; hold it back so that i wouldn't explode. If it did, I wouldn't have been permitted to have a farewell party with my friends in Lembang for 3 days. And I was like grabbed anything near me, even I almost scratched my thigh, and inhaled air as much as possible, and tried to distract my mind from every single word coming out from my mom's mouth. ckcks.

I just can't describe it how tiring it is. She said that she just wanted to remind me about being respectful, she said she just wanted to give me advices; but then, she FORCED me to follow her to go to SF since the first day of my holiday and miss the farewell party cos for her it is not important. DAMN!! I LOVE my friends and it might be the last time being with them until may be at least 5 more years I can see them again. How can I miss my farewell party?! And when I explained it to her, she said that I just live for my friends and never think for others especially my family. And she also said that I don't want to listen to their teaching anymore. WAT THE HELL MOMMM!!! You just never understand the way I love my friend cos she never had this kind of friendship!

My first schedule was: go to Lembang for 3 days on 22nd-24th of June and go to SF in 26th of June and back to Jakarta on 9th of June. But my mom insisted that I should go to SF since the first day of my holiday which is in 14th of June. So, I discussed it with Tata and she gave me the best alternative for me: go in 26 until the first week of the new school year which is in 16th. I agreed and negotiated with my mom. However, still, she insisted. She said that if I want to go on 26 then it is better for me not to go to SF at all. DAMN!

I held my emotion; said: okay! up to you! then went back to my room. In the next morning, we didn't talk at all.

I felt a kind of guilty, actually. But everything my mom had said to me on the 2 days before made mad. I "hate" her. So, I thought hard at school, thinking how to make the best schedule. Unfortunately, there's nothing better than Tata's idea. I decided to discussed it again with my mom later when I got home.

Luckily, THANK GOD, I don't know what got into her mind, she sent me a message when I just finished my school saying that she was sorry about what she said before and let me make up my own schedule. huaaahhh!!!!

FINALLY!!




I don't know why it is so tiring arguing with my mom. And I came up with an idea that it is because she is a Leo. This idea came up when I was discussing with Tata. She said: "Is your mom a Leo?" I was like: oh yeah! damn! so it is! she is a Leo and that's why she is so stubborn and never agreed with me and that's why she is TIRING. shit.

It's like my destiny to live with Leo people. First, I always play with Tata - who is a Leo - and it is sooo tiring. And also Merlyn - who is also a Leo - and it is the same. And worse, I live with my mom for 17 years and she is the one taking care of me for the whole of my life and she is also a Leo.

I wonder how could I survive in this whole 17 years. hahahahahahahah.


*doesn't mean that I hate my mom. I love my mom! :)*

iseeenks.

I'm a fan of you
I don't wanna miss a thing of you
All I want is you

I wanna hug you
I wanna hold your hand

You're my lollipop
Now my feet won't touch the ground
I fly each time I taste you
You bring me to life
It's more than words to show you my love
You are invincible

You're an angel of mine
I am paralyzed each time I see you
A rush of blood to the head occurs
What a beautiful mess it is

Now you're leavin
It is time to say goodbye
How I feel lonely without you
I am now a lacrymosa
I'm going crazy
I got insomnia

But you're my immortal
even if you are invisible
You linger in me

I will wait for you till the Kingdom come.






The poem above is actually made of titles of songs, the bold ones. hehehehe.
It just got into my mind and so I just wrote it. just for fun. :P hehehehe
here are the list:

• fan - epik high
• i don't wanna miss a thing - aerosmith (ost armageddon)
• all i want is you - barry louis polisar (ost juno)
• hug - DBSK
• i wanna hold your hand - the beatles
• lollipop - 2NE1
• now my feet won't touch the ground - coldplay
• fly - epik high
• bring me to life - evanescence
• more than words - extreme
• invincible - muse
• angel of mine - amanda somerville
• paralyzed - MYMP
• a rush of blood to the head - coldplay
• a beautiful mess - jason mraz
  
• leavin - jesse mccartney
• time to say goodbye - andrea bocelli
• lonely - akon
• lacrymosa - evanescence
• going crazy - jung hyun lee
• my immortal - evanescence
• invisible - gary jules
• linger - the cranberries
• kingdom come - coldplay
  

being responsible

We have to be responsible to our duty.
Even if we don't like it, but, still, we have to be responsible.

Dismissing our duty is irresponsible - and immature.
If you don't like it, and can't stand with it, then talk and discuss about it.
Do not just angry and grumble behind; but do nothing instead.
Talk and discuss about it; cold-headedly - maturely
Solve it.
And be a responsible person.

Anyway, about angry and grumble behind.
What's the point of it? Grumbling all of the time?
It just makes us mad; drives us crazy.
So, why don't we flow and take it easy?
It will be much better, tho, if we don't want to fight it.

is the story about PKI true?

A few days ago, we, the social class students, went to the Monumen Pancasila Sakti and TMII. Monumet Pancasila Sakti is a monument to remind us of the rebellion of the Communist Party of Indonesia (PKI) which happened on 1 October 1965. In TMII, we visit a traditional house of Indonesians cultural diversity - based on what we choose for Sociology class.

It was quite a fun day, actually. Or even it could be categorized as a "great day" one :P I just didn't satisfied enough with our tour. We had just a little time to take pics together hehehehe. Here are some of my pics there with my friends:

with my bests at the monument

the monument

in TMII, at the Balinese

Anyway, visiting those places, especially the monument, made me thinking of a few things.

First: I couldn't imagine of how heartless PKI people were. They were a terror for Indonesians. They killed kings, their relatives, governors, and even innocent people. Thousands of them! And the worst were when they killed the 7 generals of Indonesian National Army - and threw them away on a 75-in-diameter-hole, which is now called Lubang Buaya. Before killing them they torutured the generals: cut them with knives, snarled their neck with wire, and then hit their head with 3 kilogram iron. Even some of them were shot in front of their children at home: one was shot on their head, and another was shot while praying to God. HEARTLESS.

Second: Is the story of PKI true? I mean, its truth has never been revealed. Since the time when PKI rebelled and then Soeharto wiped them out and became the second president of Indonesia, the truth was somehow changed and faked. Indonesians mind and knowledge were brainwashed by the governement: the 1st October Incident was made by PKI and so PKI is heartless, dangerous, not-human, unforgivable, and that's why must be wiped out. In order to brainwash, Government made a film and that monument, which were made as cruel as possible, to show how brutal PKI was. When the Reformation from the Dictator Soeharto finally came for Indonesians, many people try to reveal the mistery of PKI rebellion which is called G 30 S/PKI.

The most famous version, what Indonesians generally know, the one who was wrong was PKI. However, since there are many researches, come up other versions: Soekarno, the former president himself, was the man behind of it, and then the generals themselves, others also said that US, CIA, and England were included. I've ever read the version of Soekarno; and the evidences are aslo strong.

So, seein them all, do I have to believe in it? Truth has not been revealed fully yet.

defining myself (part II)

i hate hates and fights and wars
i hate no-respect people
i hate being woken up just for unimportant things
i hate when people teased and being sarcastic
i hate when people talk bad things about my friends
i hate when people talk bad things about others while they don't see themselves
i hate being separated from my friends
i hate when people slander me
i hate irresponsible and lazy people
i hate arrogants
i hate heartless people
i hate ignorants
i hate people who don't care about their environments

no one is right enough to judge others

when you have found your own principal and belief, do not consider yourself as the right one and others are the wrong one.

there's nothing wrong in this world. what's right and wrong in this world are made by humans themselves. humans always make mistakes. And your principal and belief are not guaranteed to be the right one.

'cos in the end, it's just between you and God to justice whether you are right. and no one no what's in God's mind.

So, when you have found them, do it in your life and live your own life and respect others as well. who knows, actually, they're the right one instead of you?

there's no freak in this world

Freaks are not freak. They're just ordinary people existing in a wrong community.

are they human?

How can God's manifestations kill others brutally, heartlessly, mercilessly?
They're no God's manifestations.
They're no human.

I am trembled seeing them.
Scared of being among monsters and demons.

3 things shaping my life

In Bali, while I was interrogated by my uncle and his friend in order to know whether I'm ready to go to SF, my uncle asked this thing to me: what are 3 things shaping your life?

What shaped my life? Well, I've been thinking it quite often - and I know what are the answers.

So, I said to them, the first thing shaping my life is: reading National Geographic Magazine about global warming. Yes, it was the first crucial thing changing my life. It opened my mind - about the world; what is happening to the world. I used to not care about this thing even though I had heard and read it for quite many times. And when I read it, I was like: oh my God! Is this what really happening to the earth I live in?! Damn! It can't be ignored! I should not let this happen further! I have to change it!... And,... since then, I save electricity, water, paper, gasoline, and things that may hurt the lovely planet I live in. I also took part in many environmental activities to campaign the saving of this earth. I really changed: from being ignorant just like other teenagers, became a care-for-the-earth one.

Eventually, my care of the nature increased. And I realized, because of reading many articles, despite the things I do for the planet, it was futile without any improvement on people education. So, I started caring about social things too. It reached the top when I finally watched Oprah talking with a man who had built thousands of schools and libraries in many poor countries of Asia. However, I saw just the end of it. Luckily, Oprah showed one book written by the man about his journey building schools and libraries. And so, it became the second thing shaping my life: reading a book titled "Leaving Microsoft to Change the World" by John Wood.

Reading that book, opened my mind wider and wider - much wider than reading the Nat Geo Magazine. I realized, how poor is the poverty of a lot of poor people in poor countries; and also those of developing ones. Now I do not only care for the environmental things, but also social things. I realized, environment can't be fixed without fixing the poor society conditions. And so poor society can't be fixed without the fixing of their environment; a better and good quality of environment. They are interrelated.

However, my mind develops. Social things are not only poverty and education, but also politics and economy and sociology and psychology and ideology and lots more. They are all now in my mind; thinking of them each time, making my mind never stops thinking and analyzing and solving.

The third thing shaping my life is: consulting about Maria Goretti to my counseling teacher, Bu Ivon. What's the matter with that? I used to hate my chemistry teacher, Maria Goretti, or usually we call her Buret. Her attitute made me mad: angry everytime, sarcasting, never smiles, and lots more annoying ones. It made me coudln't put up with each of her class.

So, I came to Bu Ivon to consult about her. However, after giving full rein to her, she said calmly that she actually is a very good person, a very kind one, and a very smart one. She asked me to think positive. Because a good person can be a very person just because we don't think positive of him/her. And, it was right! I was later thinking positive. Now I see her as a very good person, a good teacher. So, now I always think positive.




Those are the 3 things shaping my life - which shapped me into the Alain-now: I care about the world and always think positive to everything, even though I hate them.

another perspective

I : I hate this animal! Why should it be alive?!
II: And so do they. They might say: "I hate humans! They make us lose our home! Why should such a creature alive!"