"Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

- Matthew 7:1-2

the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or give up

William Shakespeare said "expectation is the root of all heartache."

But, we can't live without expectation. Then, life is all about having expectations and dreams, hurt, and we, however, keep moving on despite the ache , isn't it?

you're just so random as always.
how should i believe you?
which part of you should i believe?

i wonder why Priests and Hajj preach like as if they're goin into a war? are you spreading God's words or provocative words?

i don't like priests who pray for others unequally and still dare telling us to love each other equally.

doing half-evil things is worse than that of whole-evil things.

nostalgia(2)

nostalgia (1)

slapped

hmmmpphhh...

i feel like God has slapped me.
i just can't content myself since the minute i walk out from my room right until this second. i'm overwhelmed with guilt.

so, it was when i just closed the door and walk a few meters from my house when an old man - he's a little bit fat - called me. he said:"son, please give me some food, i am very hungry." surprised, i just nodded my head and smiled while my feet kept walking. i felt a little pity for him but i just kept rationalizing my mind by saying "that's fine. millions begged and i don't even know if he's honest. what if he just pretended being poor?"

the routine of my mornings is picking kines up at her house and then dea, and the three of us will go to the campus together. so after i'd waited for kines for a while, she came up and we started to walk to dea's house.

BUT, just a few step we had walked, a man with a black plastic bag in his right hand ,about 27 years old, approached me. "son, are you busy? can you help me for a while?" he asked me. i was not that in a hurry so i just said yes. He then offered me his black plastic bag, "i have this 5 kilos of rice, would you please buy it?" i was confused. i know he is in trouble, and the scene was just like in a reality show named "TOLONG!". and i also have untouched rice in my room. i spontaneously said sorry to him that i can't buy it because i have lots of rice in my house and i haven't eaten it yet. he looked so disappointed and he was just about to CRY!! he then told me: "okay, that's fine. my wife was about to give birth and i couldn't pay the hospital." and he walked away! i was speechless and i just could stare at him walking away.

all the way to the campus, i mused.

what happened to me this morning?! i just started the day and there had been two people asked me to helped them and i just rejected them! am i heartless or what? moreover the second man. what if something bad happen to his wife because he couldn't pay the midwife? and if it really happened, it was because of me ignoring him.

then an idea just popped up in my mind: i could have bought the rice and gave it to the man begging for food! or at least i could give the money to the man without taking the rice! fool me!!

well i hope they're fine right now. i hope the old man can eat i hope the man's wife can give birth safely and so the newborn baby and he could pay the fee. sorry for not helping you :(

we're smarter than you guys! :P

Now I can feel how art students and engineering students are different.

We had a congratulating party for our seniors yesterday after graduation ceremony. The party was made by the youngest class which is my class, 2010. Well, the party was failed. But I did have an unforgettable moment on the welcoming of the graduates. It was true that we, art students, are brutal.

On the welcoming, each majors stood in each row, with their own preparation and shouting their own yells. FYI, there are 9 engineering majors at Itenas, while there are only 3 art and design majors which are Product Design, Visual Communication Design, and Interior Design. And, compared to them our students are much less and half of them are girls, unlike them which is like 90% of the are boys. So, we were truly lose in amount and voice.

What interesting was it was we who gained attention from people. Yes, they were much louder. We were much more creative and smart, tho. More than 1000 engineering students in their own black organizational uniforms lifted their hand and shouted loudly. But, around 200 of us shouted with our costumes, we danced, we sang, we played music.

our "dancer"

Art and Design majors have always had tradition to be creative and out of ordinary. We always have our own themes for welcoming graduates party. This year my major Product Design took ALOHA, Visual Communication Design took Halloween, and Interior Design took Sundanese. We never care what people think about us. All we care is that we have fun.They might think we are crazy, impolite, unethical, and stupid. But, right there, we proved who were smarter.

Visual Communication Design students

We at first shouted at the same time the engineers shouted. And the result was as what we had expected, we lose. So, we had our own strategy. We sat, and shut our mouth when engineers shouted without taking a glance on them. When they were taking breath, we shouted our yell as loud as we can, hit our drums and gamelan as hard as we can, danced as attractive as we can. As we started to get tired we would sit again and let them shout. We would shouted again when they started getting tired.

And, what made it crazier is that we were not just shouting our yells. We read a PRAYER and sang NATIONAL SONGS loudly! It was great to see that they couldn't fight back and they just shouted "sampah sampah sampah". And we read another prayer and, again, they couldn't shout back! HAHAH!

leading the "choir"

That gave me conclusion, tho:
Engineering students have always been boasting themselves that they are intelligent, smart and logical. And looked down on Art and Design as a stupid, illogical, ignorant, and crazy people. But, in fact, we were much smarter and logical. Yes we are brutal, but we have the art of brutality and not conservative like engineers. We were just people who are blessed with perfection in the balance of imagination and logic, art and science :D

Men have always been looked down for being childish, immature, liar, heartless, bla bla bla. Am just sick for always hearing that hypocrisy of women.

I think the era has changed. May be this is what people call female emancipation: women, in fact, are not better than men. They are not less childish, ignorant, heartless, liar, bipolar, unstable, got no commitment.

I think it's just an outdated women who still think about men lowly and praise women's balanced emotional sensitivity, commitment and maturity - which are just a few women have that character.


well, a little reference right here.

And this video might be the perfect speech.