the true teacher

this afternoon. tata, merlyn, tasha, tini, and i went to mr. george's room. i knocked on his door, "excuse me, sir. can we take a picture with u?" he smiled and let us to come in. we took two pictures.

it was the one last chance for us to meet mr. George. he's gonna move to Kuwait on 28th of february for some reasons, meanwhile we will have been in Bali on 23rd till 1st of march. so, it will be impossible for us to meet him again.

i do really love him. he teaches us well, not just about the lessons, but also how to behave in our life, how to see life's going, and lots more. he became a friend of me giving me advices for being better.

i remember him talking with me for about 50minutes in the 10th grade. it actually for my make-up test. but then he asked me some questions which were out of box and we talked for a lot of things. . in the end of our conversation he asked, "what score do you want?" i was like: what?! i haven't even explained him anything! then he said,"look how long you have talked. much much more than your friends who talked for just 3 minutes." i didn't know what score that i wanted. so, he gave me 80 - the neutral one. it is the first time for me to realize how great he is

it really shocked me and made me sad to know that we won't be taught by him anymore and, the worse, the possibility that i won't have any chance to meet him again.

for me, he is the true teacher. and i don't want to regret for not saving my memories in a picture for the second time. i had actually had the true teacher, in the 9th grade. she was ms. Rita. but, after the graduation, i was forgotton to take a picture with her. and, a few months later, she moved to Canada, and i lose contact.

i read the book "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. i learned a lot of things from that book. and one of them is: if you have found your true teacher, don't lose contact with him. so, i don't want to lose contact with mr. George.

after taking 2 picture with him, we went back to our class. before closing the door, i bowed and said, "thank you for the years, sir!"

well, THANK YOU FOR THE YEARS MR. GEORGE. i hope i would be able to meet you again :)

seorang nasionalis

kami tidak memilih negara tempat kami terlahir,
tapi kami mencintai negara tempat kami telah di lahirkan

...

tak seorang pun dapat menutup mata, telinga, dan mulutnya ketika tangannya dipatahkan

...

kami tidak memilih saat ketika masuk ke dunia ini;
tapi sekarang, kami dapat membangun sebuah dunia
tempat benih yang kami bawa akan dapat tumbuh dan berkembang



dari One Does Not Choose - Gioconda Belli

Majalah Basis

does swear still have any meaning?

my friends frequently say this: "I swear! I really don't like it!" or "It really is hot! I swear!" and there are lots of other swears.

i am just wondering, why is so easy to swear? does swear have no more meaning?

in my 17 year life, i have just said "swear" for 2 times. the first is when i was still so small, and i swore to my mom, then she taught me for the first time about swearing. since then, i never said that word in ease. the second time was when i was playing soccer and my friend convicted me that i made a hand-ball. i was so sure that i didn't do it i said: i swear the ball didn't couch my hand! and i think that's the last time i swore.

my parents and other older generations (40s-year-old-people), most of them, teach me not to be too easy to swear. why? they say, and i do very agree of it: swear means promising with your whole soul to people that your words are true and none a little of it is untrue. it means that it is sooo damn true or 1000% true.

the freedictionary.com also says: swear means to make solemn declaration, invoking a deity or a sacred person or thing, in confirmation of and witness to the honestly or truth of such a declaration. swear can also means to curse.

we can see how deep a swear is, much much deeper than a promise.

nowadays, because people swear easily, i didn't really trust people when they say "i swear". they even lying using "i swear"!!

you'll be in my heart~

i was just listening to this song: "you'll be in my heart" by usher.

somehow it really calms me down. when you listen to this song, you'll find it make you feel safe.
i do really love this song. this is the lyrics:

I gotcha
I'll be right here
You listen

Come stop your crying
It will be alright
Just take my hand
Hold it tight, now
I will protect you from, all around you
I will be here DONT you cry

For one so small
You seem so strong, now
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm, This
bond between us
Can't be broken
So im gonna be here dont you cry
Cuz

You'll be in my heart,
You'll be in my heart,
From this day on,
Now and forever more,
(for more.. na na na na..
ha ha.. come on.. yea)

WHY cant they understand the way we feel,
THEY just don't trust what they cant explain,
I know we're different,
But deep inside us,
We're not that different AT ALL,

(You'll) You'll be in my heart,
See you'll be in my heart,
(From this day) From this day on,
(Ohh) Now and forever more (FOREVER MORE)
From this day on forever more, YOU'LL BE

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be, you'll be right here in my heart (Always)
Always (Always, Always, Always)

Dont listen to them
Cuz what do they know?
We need each other
To have, to hold
They'll see in time
I KNOW
WE'LL SHOW THEM TOGETHER

(YOU'LL BEEEEE)
You'll be (IN MY HEART) in my heart
(I'll always be there)
You'll be in my heart
(You know that) From this day on
Now and forever more

(You'll) You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say (No matter, no matter what they say oooh)
You'll be right here in my heart (No matter oh no matter)(always)
Always (Always, always)

Just look over your shoulder
(Euh listen, no matter what they say no no.. look over your shoulder yeah)
Just look over your shoulder
(I'll be right here, I gotcha) (I'll always be there)
Just look over your shoulder
(I'll be right there)
I'll always be there (Now that i gotch ya)
(No matter what they say)
Just look over your shoulder (No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no)
(No matter what, no matter what, no)

Just look over your shoulder
(No matter what they say no no hey yey yey hey HA)
Just look over your shoulder

what a great life i have.

it suddenly turned up in my mind: see how even the most simple thing in your life works. then you'll see what a great life you have.

i like it, that words. what's so special about it? we frequently, almost always, look down on simple things such as making decision of what to eat, where to go, what you will do, and else. but, do you know how it affects our life, a lot?

for instance, you are making decision of what to eat. your option is either martabak or sushi. which one will you take? if you take martabak, then you may will be too full or unhealthy. taking sushi, it will be healthy for you, but you may will lose a lot of money because of it is expensive. and you may will have no more money to but what you want in the future.

it both will affect your life. unhealthy food will make you sick in the future. you might have a high colesterol or fat because of martabak. meanwhile sushi will make you lose a lot of money but you will be healthy. it work in the futere, in the unknown time; we never know about future.

everything we do will change our destiny, everything.

shemale and gay?

i just attended my friend's sweet 17 party, Rena, at Peninsula Hotel.

we laughed a lot there. with a lot of jokes from the MCs, CiPan and Owen. They were humorous yet "pervert" (this one just for Owen), with his "gay" performance. He kissed some of the boy candles and they were like having a horrible face because of fright. it was so funny.

next performance was by...... shemales. honestly, i was so shocked. they danced, "stripteased", came to the boys and chased them! my friends were just like chased by ghost! funny. me? i did quite afraid they would come to me. fortunately, they didn't; meanwhile my friends on my left, right, in front, and behind me got it :P.

but, my point is not at how fun it was looking at my friends chased by those shemales. my point is: should be deserted those men who have those "abnormality"?

most of us are disgusted by their act, because either they are shemale or gay. or both. we desert them and don't want to get near them. what i am try to say is: is it their fault? being a shemale or gay? is it wrong being a shemale and gay?

well. my uncle who i respect a lot asked me this: "is there any right or wrong in this world? who can say it right or wrong? and who make it right or wrong?" then i thought: yes. there's no right or wrong. every law saying whether it is right or wrong is made by humans. we don't even know whether the laws telling the right one. who can state it? no one. it is our man-made. (well. for people who believes in God will say it is what God says. but i am trying to tell the universal way. We don't know if the God we believe in is right or wrong, tho. we will know it in the end of the world.)

my uncle asked me again to make clear how we should not judge either shemale or gay is wrong: "who make the law: a man should be a macho and a woman should be a femimn? human, isn't it?" yes, it is human. "and, does human's laws are always right?" no. like whay i said before, we don't even know if the law is right. "therefore, is their fault being like that?"

then, why do we desert them? it's not their fault. they don't want to be born like that, either. so, i think we should respect them. respect the way they are.

honestly, i did really appreciate them because they were so brave to show who they are confidently. even if we ran away from them when they approached. :)

what's wrong for being an idealist?

my mom told me, "later, when you are successful in foreign, don't go back to indonesia! you've had a good living there, unlike here." then i replied, "no! i want to go home. i want, at least, to help poor indonesians to get a better living." she suddenly angry and said, "don't be such a fool. it's good to have a good living. don't be such an idealist. you don't know how hard working here." i was just quiet and thinking.

well, what's wrong for being an idealist? i'm an idealist yet a dreamer. i want such a thing which is so hard to be done: helping indonesia. so what's wrong with it? am i wrong for dreaming it?

they said they are mad to the goverments because of the corruption they do. this country has been sick already. so, is that mean giving up? if i give up, then it's just like: you are sick so badly that you're always complaining, but you do nothing to cure it.

i'm not like that. so, i want to cure indonesia to be a better country in the future. no matter that people say i'm an idiot idealist or elses. world needs an idealist and dreamer. who invents useful things we use today? they were idealist. people teased them for being sick trying to invent such a weird things, the Wright brothers, for instance. but, see! how it turns into an irreplacable thing in our life. who struggled so hard to give an independence day if it's not the idealist heroes who dreamed peace for their nation?

well, that's how i am.

feeling no hate feels really good!

what a discovery! i found it feels really good to feel no hate in my heart!

i just tried it a few days ago, on feb 9th, exactly. it actually started from the sociology class. we were studying about conflicts and mr. Sunu gave us a task to present some famous conflicts happening in Indonesia. to make us clear about how the conflict actually went on, mr. Sunu showed us a video titled :f**king scary video. looking at it, we laughed and made some jokes.

but then we stopped when we saw the corpse of the conflict's victims. damn! it really was f**king scary! it was a video about the conflict between Dayak people and Madura people in Borneo. they lost their face, hands, heads, any part of the body! even there were also people lifting their's enemy's heads which had been cut! They lifted it shouting proudly. even kids were killed! there was also part of the video showing some people

i was so speechless watching that video. i couldn't understand why do they were so not-human. in christianity, we were taught that humans are God's manifestations. and i agree with that. but, wathcing the video, i was wondering: how could God's manifestations killed other manifestations brutally?! they were EVIL!!

after the video had finished, we got back to our table and continue the lesson. but i couldn't concentrate on the lesson. i was thinking why could it happen. what's wrong with them that they could do such a thing. then i got the answer: HATE.

yeah! it's right. it starts from people don't like other people. then their don't-likes turn into hates. hates turn into grudges. and, finally, grudges turn into wars. it is what happen to wars happening in our world.

that's why, i, dont't want to start the war. i do really hate wars and i don't want to start it. then, by not hating any other person, it's gonna be PEACEFUL. well, it might be extreme if i say a war in my community. but yes, there are cold wars in my community. and it all start from: hate.

then i finally decided not to hate anyone. even those who are "deserted". i want to make friend with them and make a peace. and i managed to do it in me! i feel so PEACEFUL!

you guys should try it! let's make heaven comes to us :)

first blog :P

well. it's my first blog. i was hesitated to make a blog actually. but i created it at last, tho.

it's gonna be bout my life. but it's unlike a common diary. it's more likely going to be like my reflections; what i discover in my life. i am a thoughtful man, so i get a lot of things in my mind. i just want to share it bcoz my mind is too full and i want to express it out.

i consider everything in my life as something which is extra extra ordinary; even the most simple thing like have something to eat. simple, isnt it? however, it's extra-ordinary!

ah! it can be either in english or bahasa. depends on how i can express it :P

well. hope u can have something to learn. :D