today and tomorrow

today.... I was home from Bandung for a "farewell party" for itik, felia, dani, and H. It was a great 2 days there. We stayed in cath's home - playing, screaming, laughing, taking pictures, and chris and I were also almost got drunk as we drank more than 6 cans of beer. huahua. It was soooo fun there... yet it was sad that we can not meet again for at least a year. >.<

After all, I was finally able to solve my problem which had haunted me for like 2-3 months. SOOO HAPPYYYY!! hohohhoh!

all of us at rest area

some beers with chris

in the middle of the nite

and tomorrowww.... will be the last day for me to meet itik and felia. and then I will get my report card.. go home.. packing.. and..... GO TO SAN FRANCISCO!!! damn!! I just still don't believe the miracle that I can go to SF again for the third time! THANK GOD! hohohoho!

shit

I NEED LITHIUM TO CALM MYSELF DOWN!!!

i feel so bad since last week. something had made me so sad and mad - can't stop thinking bout it. i can't control my emotion. i could be happy and be bad at once.

i frequently sit down silently on my desk - musing, drawing eyes and faces, writing words to express my feeling cos i didn't even know what i was feeling actually. i tried any way to express it and be relieved of it.

but i can't. FREAKIN ME OUT!!

damn.

i often lose my breath. something kinda pushes all of my breath out of my chest at once. making me feel a kind of panic - or excited. i don't know which one. but it's bad. so, it's panic i think.

one thing for sure what i am feeling:

i don't wanna lose anything i love anymore - just because of bullshits. now i'm struggling for it, while knowing that it might be not possible.

well, it's panic then.

and i can't be calmed until i know that i still have hope.

a song reflecting what i am feeling now.

by jason mraz (featuring james morrison): details in the fabric


Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads saying
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine
Mmmhmm

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold